The bartender says, “You’ll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm.”, A dentist’s phone rang. However, you can ask more specific questions for a good laugh, too. 24. A thesaurus. 18. What do pampered cows produce? We'll see about that. A pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven. It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter! 31. (Optional) Sign-up to recieve weekly newsletters for your favorite comedy clubs. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. “Do you know how they make these gloves?” he asked. See our Privacy Policy. 22. “I was just picturing how condoms are made!” – she said. A nurse told me, "Sorry for the wait!" 3. 37. ", Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry. language, country and your other public info. So … It says, “Doc, you gotta help me! Get here some jokes for "OK Google Tell Me A Joke" Doing yoga amidst natural air toward the beginning of the day is useful, it keeps you upbeat for the duration of the day. At some points in life, things go wrong, we get depressed, stressed, trapped…. Why can’t a bike stand on its own? 14. 32. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! I discovered a substance that had no mass, and I was like "0MG!". He told me to stop going to those places. Guess he was right. Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh. The sign says you're open 24 hours." 23. I replied, "It's alright, I'm patient." I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. The lady on the other end was very angry. 20. bad mood? I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. A good website keep it up. 27. How to Tell a Joke. “No, I don’t” she replied. 5. 39. Well,” he spoofed, “there’s a building in China with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.”. trapped? A bicycle rolls into the doctor’s office. Nothing, they just waved. A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway. At that time we use search term like OK Google, can you tell me a joke. She didn’t crack a smile. Seriously, you're going to love this cheesy collection of corny jokes—they're ideal for celebrating National Tell a Joke Day on August 16! To be able to fly…….into a billboard. Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already worldwide. 12. ", Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!Mirror: You kiddin' me? I replied, "It's alright, I'm patient.". I tried.” – he thought. People say I'm condescending. 35. Not sure, but the flag is a big plus. Jokes are really refreshing and keep writing somemore. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? 2. A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. Jokes. friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? “You charged $40 to take out my little boy’s tooth.” – she cried. Shout out to anyone wondering what the opposite of in is. We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, language, country and your other public info. 36. 4. BIG hug!!! Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year. I hope these beautiful jokes help cheering you up, make you laugh, happy. 19: 42 Funny One Liner Jokes 20: Funny Jokes About Kids, 21: Halloween Jokes 22: Funny Corny Jokes 23: Chemistry Jokes 24: Christmas Jokes 25: Fourth of July Jokes. Also check out my popular collection of very funny short stories and education jokes on my blogs. California residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. Boy: The principal is so dumb!Girl: Do you know who I am?Boy: No...Girl: I am the principal's daughter!Boy: Do you know who I am?Girl: No...Boy: Good! Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells. …when jokes aren’t enough, don’t forget the full love and support from our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends and all our loved ones. I submitted ten puns to a pun contest hoping that one would win, but no pun in ten did. I can’t keep from yawning all day long.” The doctor says, “Well, I think it’s because you’re two tired. Spoiled milk. We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, My lack of knowledge on Greek literature has always been my Achilles' elbow. 01: Really Funny Jokes 02: Funny Jokes for Adults 03: Funny Short Jokes 04: Funny Sex Jokes 05: Hilarious Jokes, 06: Funny Dirty Jokes 07: Funny Birthday Jokes 08: Funny Knock Knock Jokes 09: Funny Jokes About Women – for men! 21. 40 Dumb, Funny Jokes That You Can Laugh At And Tell To Your Friends. That means I talk down to others. From one-liners to classic three-liners to the one-minute gag you tell your friends, a good joke pleases everyone. ?>. Obsessed with travel? 37. What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? Five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the dental procedure, she burst out laughing. There are two types of people in the world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data. 11. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Some guy called me a tool. “What’s so funny?” he asked. Yes!! Then it hit me. 17. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Look for the fresh prints. In high school the cute def girl was checking me out so I walked up to her and asked what’s your favorite band? Patient: Are you kidding me?! When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. A joke becomes a dad joke when the punchline is apparent. Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular. Just went to an emotional wedding — even the cake was in tiers. A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. frustrated? 10. A nurse told me, "Sorry for the wait!" One turns to the other and asks, “How do you drive this thing?”. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! He got 12 months, they say his days are numbered. Alexa will tell you a joke if you simply ask it to -- just say "Alexa, tell me a joke." 33. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. An echurnity! Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Anybody who believes in telekinesis raise my hand. I don’t know, and I don’t care. *Walks away*, A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleanersThe lady says, "Come Again! Select the club mailing lists below. But some time we use Google search to read some jokes. You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing). @Rein: Make sure to place your email in the notification database (Subscribe, below Top Funny Jokes on the right of this website). Tell you what, doc…. Shout out to anyone wondering what the opposite of in is. 19. What’s the difference between a girl and a pizza? 38. 29. I said, "Hey! Joke-telling is one of the best ways to ease tension, make a new friend, or light up a room. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? He Said, "Yes, but not in a row! You don't need a parachute to go skydiving — you need a parachute to go skydiving twice. 1. 50 Genuinely Funny Jokes to make you laugh Last Updated: 8th July 2020. 1. 10: Teacher Jokes, 11: Funny Clean Jokes 12: Funny Yo Mama Jokes 13: Funny Blonde Jokes 14: Funny Math Jokes 15: Funny SMS, 16: Funny Jokes for Kids 17: Computer Jokes 18: Funny Jokes About Men – for women! Two fish are in a tank. Everyone loves witty jokes. 25. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.